


automated

by thir13enth



Series: shiro.exe [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, i had a lot of feelings about clone theory when people started talking about it, not sure why i didn't post it here, posted on tumblr last year, re: clone theory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thir13enth/pseuds/thir13enth
Summary: i think there's a flaw in my code.





	automated

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this last year after s3 came out and people were saying things like "that's not my shiro" and all that. i wasn't a fan of that school of thought and i didn't know how else to express it but in writing a drabble so here is something from a long time ago lol
> 
> in quotes from myself last year: "if anything, maybe it’s just that i’m not into the “evil shiro” and “that’s not my shiro” statements because i would hate to strip a clone of its inherited identity just because it’s not the original, especially when the clone isn’t programmed its own will. anyway, i know that’s all for jokes but i feel like there’s a potential ethical discussion here but i’m not pursuing it because honestly the show’s probably not that deep lmao."

He knows in his bones that something is wrong.

His heart is off beat, his steps don’t fall in place, and his memories come and go like the day after day that passes by after his rather anti-climatic arrival back on board.

He thinks that maybe his unceremonious return is because no one trusts themselves to appropriately and wholeheartedly celebrate, but he also thinks that maybe he hasn’t opened himself up for such positive sentiments in the first place.

After all, everything comes down to “what happened” and the answer to that isn’t something he’s ready to discuss.

For now, however, everything he does seems natural — maybe a bit  _too_ natural — like he’s running on automatic and his mind, body, and heart are fully operational but in no way complete. He functions without thinking, he’s there without being present, and he’s breathing, hearing, seeing, without feeling the least bit alive.

Something about this state of mind feels familiar. He’s been distant once before when he first escaped the Galra, and maybe now that it’s his second time slipping from their grasps, he’s changed for the worst as permanently as his lost arm and scarred skin.

And honestly, he doesn’t even know what they’ve done to him.

All he knows is now: that every movement he makes is out of sync, that every word he says doesn’t match his thoughts, that every time he looks up at the clock, he’s surprised by how a few minutes has passed after he’s been thinking for hours.

There’s a soft, distant ringing in his ears that gives him headaches, and there are taunting, teasing whispers reverberating in his mind, and there’s this unforgiving itch attached to the back of his head that he can’t seem to scratch away.

But he at least knows he’s alive. He’s here. He’s alive and he’s here with his team and that’s all that matters.

All the other distractions are just self-doubt, he reasons. Everything that he can’t comprehend is just a consequence of personal tragedy.

And perhaps this time it will take him longer to snap back — but until then he decides he won’t doubt he’s still here for a reason.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for coming to this mess of a drabble. you know where to find me:  
> tumblr @ahumanintraining  
> twitter @napsbeforesleep


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